Release Your Desire to Meditate

I found that an ambitious approach to meditation pulled me further from the goal of living more mindfully. So I released the desire to meditate, and have found my unique stillness flow.

Meditation is everywhere these days. With COVID on the wane, we face the onslaught of pre-pandemic life — work travel, children’s schedules, going back to the office, eating and living well — not to mention fitting in hobbies and self-care. But in pursuing meditation for ourselves, we approach it like anything else on our to-do list, with disastrous ramifications.

I meditated this way for years, treating it like a daily task and finding that it only seemed to increase my agitation. But you can’t pour tea into a full cup. This is why cure-all approaches to meditation don’t work. If the desire to meditate is at the heart of your quest, as it was mine, you are destined to fail.

Now my involvement with meditation feels different. I no longer have a strong desire or identity involved in meditation. As a result, I’m able to embody concepts of meditation, receiving maximum benefits with none of the earlier angst. In this article, I’ll show you how to address desire in your meditation practice, moving towards a more authentic relationship with stillness.

Human Desire

You are human, you desire things. Meditation is just another one of those lifestyle hacks you “want” for yourself. Perhaps is the status of being able to say you meditate, or maybe you are in considerable pain and are looking for something, anything to stem the tide. In that case, jumping right into formal meditation may be the worst thing for you. Step one of any meditation routine is to orient yourself around your desire, investigate where it’s coming from, and then gently release it. Without this key step, you’ll be like a greyhound chasing a rabbit — engaged in endless pursuit.

When we truly meditate, there is no goal in mind. We aren’t thinking about how many “minutes” we’ve logged meditating. Or whether or not we are on a meditation, “streak.” We are not otherwise pleased without ourselves for meditating, nor are we eager to share our success in sitting with others. The true art of meditation is to just be. For everything to be exactly as it is, and to reveal that stillness. Keep in mind, stillness doesn’t always mean you are still. Think of a raging storm on the sea, with the deep water below barely stirring. It is this connection that many find when they meditate, however, it should never be a goal in and of itself.

Intrigued? Let’s begin to release what we desire in meditating, and in the process get to know how to understand ourselves better.

Step 1: Releasing the Desire

I want you to forget about meditating “properly.” Release the guilt for the weeks, months, and years spent doggedly pursuing a strategy that was doomed from the start. Why? Because you desired to mediate. Any plan that places mental wellness, or spirituality as a goal can never amount to much because their very nature is at odds with worldly things. So forgive yourself for that silent retreat you chickened out on or that meditation app that sits idle on your phone.

Now, this next part is crucial. I want you to release the goal you have in your mind. The picture of wellness or the person you are “going” to become once you meditate. All of these desires are figments of your imagination and will hinder your progress in adopting a meditation strategy that works for you.

You may know where this is going, and many of you won’t like it. Because we’ve arrived at a terrible, wonderful truth. You, with the trigger-finger temper, the anxious disposition, the anger problem — are perfect just as you are. You may hate hearing that. Perhaps you are rolling your eyes right now and scoffing. But take a moment and reflect, if you truly were embodied with yourself every moment of your life, do you think you would have that trigger finger temper? Maybe you would, maybe you wouldn’t. There is only one way to find out. But the essential fact is you must embrace who you are right now. Any judgment, shame, or guilt takes you further from your goal. While some might find this refreshing, others may believe it’s a pass for being a jerk. It both is and isn’t. If you are intrigued by what I’m saying, keep going. Try radically accepting yourself, just as you are. It is this foundation that is built solidly on the rock.

How do you know if you’ve completed this step? Are you still talking nonstop about meditation? Are you reading articles about it *cough* or listening to podcasts? For the time being, release all the triggers for wanting a life with meditation. If you’ve done this correctly you may have insight as to why this is such a powerful practice. Now you have stripped away all of the desires associated with your life. You have a blank slate. You have now.

Spend time with this step, ponder it, journal about it, talk about it — but the ultimate goal is to drop it. How do you drop desire? Like you’d drop a load of laundry on the floor. You just do it.

Stay still, my friends.