Secret to Meditation Series: Part 4-Obsessives
Look how far you’ve come! If you’ve gotten to this point you’ve made good traction in bringing stillness into your life. You probably are sleeping better, and finding more enjoyment in the little things. Perhaps you are super calm during stressful situations or are able to help someone out without getting pulled into the drama. Take a moment and congratulate yourself for making this progress. It’s not the results that matter, it’s the process that can truly reform how you experience your life.
So after you’ve taken a moment to brag, let’s come back to center. The truth is you are still living in this world, which means you will get pulled off track from time to time. Despite making time for stillness, and engaging in activities that bring your true purpose to the forefront, there are still pratfalls to avoid.
Despite how far you’ve come, you have to closely monitor yourself. It’s like cleaning your house — it doesn’t stay clean each week. You have to metaphorically shake yourself up to ensure you aren't slipping back into old habits. There are a variety of ways to do this, which we will cover in a forthcoming series on cultivating stillness. In the interim, we will focus on those little “obsessives” that can block your progress.
Let’s go back through your week and take stock. By now you have carved out time for stillness, and a good amount of your schedule will be dedicated to positive intake moments. But what about those other moments? Those pockets of dead time where you feel that low-grade anxiety or irritation. What happened then?
We aren’t judging these activities, but we should list them out. Begin to write down all the times you felt that icky feeling in your stomach, or a rush of adrenaline. You are looking for things that sap your energy and turn you into a bit of a monster. Makes you want to hide, avoid your family, and tell your kid to go away. All of those activities are ones you should closely monitor because — once again — any attempt you make to meditate will likely not amount to much in lieu of such internal destruction.
Everyone’s list may look different, but I’ll give you an example to get you started. As a writer, I love stories. And horror stories are some of the best stories ever. But when I read them or try to watch a particularly good horror movie, I do not feel well. I physically feel sick. For a long time, I tried to shake this off, but I have to conclude that I’m just not the type of person who enjoys these stories. So whenever I veer off track, I make a note of it.
Other examples of obsessives could include:
Certain types of sexual activity
Watching pornography
Binging a streaming service
Social media
Gossiping
Talking trash
Reading gossip articles
This list is entirely subjective and this is an individual exercise. Not everyone is going to have the same reaction, which is why we shouldn’t moralize on which behaviors are good or bad for us.
What to do about these? Avoid them, give them up, monitor them, restrict them, whatever comes to you as the right solution. If you can’t control yourself around them, take a good hard look at what it will take to bring the obsessive under control. Play around with it, and don’t moralize with yourself. Remember, the obsessive is less harmful to you than destructive self-talk. Be kind to yourself, and remember why you are monitoring these activities in the first place.
You’ve done so much work on finding time for stillness, monitoring your progress, and avoiding obsessives. In December, we’ll continue the journey and prepare to go on a Stillness Diet in the New Year. Stay still, my friends.